remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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