pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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