after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
