i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
