I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize