I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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