dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
