I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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