You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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