Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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