yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
