Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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