I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is