I'm gonna have a badass scar
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"