i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips