is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.