I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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