Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
