You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize