His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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