yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
