Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
