Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
