They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize