glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
