So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
