so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
