yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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