just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
