I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
