Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
FUCK WHALES
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
