CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize