i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There r osticjed everywhere
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
