I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize