love makes seman taste better
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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