he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
