I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
