i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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