Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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