dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
