my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
