WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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