last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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