is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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