I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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