What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This is the high leading the old right now
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
