Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
