Small penises have feelings too.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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