oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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