oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
