that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
