Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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