they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
