So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
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I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
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we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize