I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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