my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
