Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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