Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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