never play flip cup with pint glasses
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
