I accidentally burped into my bong.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I will pee on everything he values.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
