I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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