he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize