My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
