so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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