I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
