im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
