Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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