i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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