i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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