I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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